Go into any Asian owned nail shop in the black community and take a look at the color selection.  Then go to a nail salon that doesn’t primarily service black women and there are some colors that will most likely (no guarantee) be missing.  Bright green, neon orange,  deep blues…very unique colors.  French tips are usually white (I don’t think they belong on the feet, but…ok.  Do you.), but you’ll find sistas with  fuchsia tips…metallic gold tips…the possibilities are endless.   Many of these colors are loved because they absolutely POP against brown skin in a way that is so beautiful.

Sure, sure…lots of people just call these bright colors ghetto.  For many others, loud colors, contrasting tips, and designs are a unique art form that they love to have showcased on their bodies.  I say, “To each [her] own.” (NOTE: Fake nails are never acceptable.  You should never have a fake nail put on any of your toes unless you need a nail on the toe for medicinal purposes.  If your nail falls off and you just need to have a nail there…ok, that’s fine.)

I’m the best, Mayne! Only black people can make light of a video like this. Lord Have mercy, another black video phenomenon (move over chocolate rain). The “afrospere” is buzzing with video of this kid, remixes…etc. Is this a program that is being produced at a high school…in someone’s basement…what?? The only good thing is that Eli is probably a mini superstar in his hood after this (or at least I hope).

But let’s consider this-when educators or interviewers have to spend well over 10 minutes to attempt to say your name correctly, that may signal an issue that we as a people need to examine. Now granted, there are some ignorant folk out there that will stigmatize you solely based on your name, but these aren’t the folks I’m concerned with. Let’s just think about our children and consider the following: Are there enough spaces on the scantron sheet for your child to fill in his/her complete name? Will children be able to turn any portion of your child’s name into an embarassing schoolyard chant? Does your daughter’s name readily prepare her for a less than savory occupation?

C’mon folk, I’m just sayin! No one name is better than another. Be creative by all means, but at the same time- think about the name you give your child. It sets the tone for their life.

A big fist and SOOOUUUULLLL go out to my boy Don Cornelius, creator of the long running hit show “Soul Train”, for making this a “Stuff Black People Love” favorite. Not only has this long standing tradition reached the 70’s funk wild children (our parents), but this phenomenon has reached even today’s hip hopping, R&B’ing generation. I unashamedly admit that even me, a 90’s child, young and exuberant, sat staring into the bottle capped eyes of Don Cornelius weekly, wondering when my day would come to shakemygroovethangus, amidst strangers, on a stage that would reach worldwide viewership.  Though times have changed, along with the music and the styles of its fans, The Soul Train Line (STL) still holds a very true and special place in all of our hearts.

At any given opportunity, when gathering amongst friends, with the right seasoning of ambiance and soul hits,  will you and I get the urge to round them up for a good ‘ole STL.  An event truly isn’t complete without the presence of certain family members (table dancing Aunt May), the electric slide (or the hustle), and the Soul Train Line.  Admittedly, some parties aren’t really considered a hit until you mix it with a little old school — or a little be-bop, pop lock, and re-run. 

You know I’m right,  the next time you attend a party stand in the middle of the floor and motion the crowd to join into what they’ve all been waiting to do ALL Night.  Not only will you reap the benefits of being the life of the party, but you may reap a few winks and phone numbers too……and you know we LOVE THAT! 

 Photo Source

Other folks from the outside looking in may think we are having a knock-down, drag out verbal fisticuffs, which could potentially explode into violence at a moments notice..and sometimes it can (especially at the family reunion). But in most instances, it’s just a hearty discussion between a people who don’t always feel like their voices and opinions will be heard or respected by the masses.

I had to see pictures of Eva Longoria’s wedding. Apparently she is more newsworthy than Beyonce and Jay-Z.

As someone who generally believes no one’s wedding (even that of a celebrity) is ‘news’ but a private, family event, the mainstream media’s claim that no one cared about about this particular celebrity wedding news strains credulity to the point of exhaustion.

To be clearer… Two black people get married. According to the statistics we are usually bombarded with, that in and of itself should be worthy of an interruption of you usual programming. I distinctly recall reading and watching several features that suggested African American women were now more likely NOT to get married in their lifetime than not.

A black man gets married. According to the statistics we are usually bombarded with, if he’s not dead or in jail or on the down-low or just trifling, the last thing a black man wants to do is get married. To a black woman.

A black woman becomes the wife of a black man who apparently wanted to become her husband. If we extrapolate from the kinds of media coverage we usually get of black people and popular culture, this is the equivalent of a Bigfoot sighting or a high-def shot of the Loch Ness Monster. Right?

The man who gave us Big Pimpin got married, people. And mainstream media thinks that is not news. Think about that…

I give props to single and disabled parents who have children who step to the plate, but I must admit some cases are just plain old laziness…  

Some jobs that Children Personal Assistants do for their parents are:

-Buying groceries (one bag at a time)

-Babysitting themselves

-Babysitting their siblings

-Supervising themselves on a play date at the neighborhood playground

-Supervising themselves on a Saturday trip to the corner restaurant with their friends for a bite to eat

-Paying a utility bill

-Answering the door- all the time

-Answering the phone- all the time

-Calling multiple relatives and family friends to set up play dates

-Lie for their parents when convenient

-Walking back and forth between rooms to deliver dialog between two people

-Waking their parents and start making the coffee when mom/dad return home from a late from a night out

-Starting their own charity, and going door to door to ask for cash

 Have you ever had a person of another race involved in a conversation where someone used the “n”word? It’s like time stands still. Will the non-black person join in and use it, or do the smart thing and act as though they didn’t even hear it? Worse yet, will the non-black person admonish the user? It’s uncomfortable. But, go to your local barbershop, sports bar, school yard, bus stop, train station, dance club, skating rink, library, fundraiser, PTA meeting, church…you get the point. Somebody is going to utter the “n” word at some point, (and it might be me). I’m not proud of it, or lauding it; right wrong or indifferent, it’s the truth.

A non-black friend of mine once made the remark, “But it’s not fair, why do you get to say it and we can’t? It’s just a word like stupid or dummy.” Because I considered this person a dear friend, I explained the sordid history of the word and its origins during the times of slavery when it was used to belittle us as human beings, creating a history of low self-esteem and a self-fulfilling prophecy of substandard achievement from generation to generation. Then I went on to describe the history of African-Americans reclaiming of negative words and turning them into something that we owned. We called the shots with how these words and phrases were used, and it gave us a sense of power. My diatribe continued on, remarking upon how the times have change into one of buffoonery and apathy, a time in which youth no longer acknowledge the painful history of their forefathers and languages of all types melded into one heaping pot of Webster’s Dictionary. I talked about how our children have been duped into thinking that no one is racist anymore, and that multiracial families are loved by all. And then after I stated all of that, I politely told him, “N’ Word, because you can’t!”

I think Black People should start a tradition similar to Groundhog’s Day.  We should start saying that you can tell how hot it’s going to be in the summer by how early you see White People wearing shorts.  Ok?  Let’s start it, Come on!  I think I saw a White guy with short on during one of those warm days we had in DC in February.  I predict a reasonably hot summer.  If it had been Dec or Jan…we better get ready for a scorcher!!

So what is it about these “Blaucasians” (borrowed from the Tiger Woods school of racial synergy) that we love? I think we appreciate the idea of another culture’s fascination with and homage to us, even though the lines between adoration, envy and mockery sometimes get crossed. We certainly didn’t appreciate Al Jolsen’s blackfaced “mammy” and when Bo Derek showed up with beaded cornrows- insert loud West Indian teeth sucking sound here-, “gurl, puhleeeze”!

If a white person openly and publicly acknowledges the efforts and contributions that we have made to the global society, then their adoption of our habits and trends might be more palatable. It’s when the opposite occurs that we are subjected to listening to our folks like Little Richard loudly gesticulate and pontificate on how “they” stole, umm say for example, rock n roll, from us. And they never gave us nothin…NOTHIN!!!

But I digress….